Who’s your role model?

“Who’s your role model?” A question usually asked in interviews. A question I could not find a simple answer to. My role model? Someone I look up to & aspire to be? Just one single person? If I didn’t know better, I would laugh at the fact that the person asking this question expects a genuine answer.

As a kid, the answer to this question was simple & clear, “I want to grow up to be just like my dad/mom/teacher” or whoever person you knew you loved, someone who knew things you didn’t know. Not the case when you’re older, more knowledgable and -as much as I hate to admit- judgmental.

Person A was my role model. Everything person A thought or did was right. It was like that, black & white, until I grew old enough to form my own opinion about things. All shades of grey started to appear. Person A & I disagreed on a lot. Person A was not perfect. Person A was flawed, just like myself & every other person I searched for a role model in.
If I chose an imperfect person to aspire to be like, then I’ve lowered my standards.

“I want to be as ambitious as person A, as kind & wise as person B, as strong as person C & so on”. I’ll create an illusion of a perfect person & aspire to be that person. But even in that there’s a pitfall. I’ll only be able to choose traits best represented by the people I know, which is probably not the optimal representation of the traits themselves. I don’t want to be as strong as person C if a stronger person existed.

So, I finally decided that no person will be my role model. No, I’ll go with the perfect representation of all traits. I’ll go with perfection. Perfection is my role model & I most definitely will fall short in my attempt to reach it but it wins over aspiring to be imperfect.


Nightmares Vs. Dreams (1)

Let’s look at nightmares differently. Nightmares have always been labeled bad. One would complain ‘I keep having nightmares’. In fact, the word itself derives from the Old English “mare”, a mythological demon who torments human beings with frightening dreams. But why is that? Isn’t it true that when you wake up from a nightmare, you feel grateful & happy that whatever you saw wasn’t real? And the opposite happens with dreams where you wake up realizing & hating that what you just experienced wasn’t your reality? 



About Love

I once wrote that love is supposed to empower not weaken. I learned more about love since then. Love does empower you in the sense that having a person who loves you for who you are, someone who isn’t obligated to do so by blood, can give you confidence, power & courage to face obstacles you come across. But when it comes to the person you love, you’re weak. You’ll forgive things you normally wouldn’t forgive. You’ll often find yourself looking the other way. You might believe a little lie they told so that you don’t ruin whatever it is you have. Because of that person you will edit the picture you drew a long time ago of how you imagined your life to be. It’s not that simple when that picture you drew had a lot of details that editing it will just ruin it whole. You’ll have to draw a new one. You hate drawing, you hate it when the picture you want to draw is not so clear, when you’re not sure if it’ll turn out better or worse than the one you already drew.