We find comfort in sharing with a stranger what we normally wouldn’t share with a close friend or family member because a stranger, we feel, doesn’t know us enough to judge us & even if this stranger does so, she/he doesn’t know us enough for us to care.
Some fear oblivion while I find comfort in it. The thought that one day, everything I did or didn’t do will be forgotten by people appeals to me. They’ll focus on the good for some time then only remember me by name for some more time but then nothing. Life will go on like it did after the passing of so many. It reminds you that the world/earth revolves around no one & that the only thing it cares for is the sun.
He uses lines from movies & lyrics of songs to express his love to her because he feels he can’t do it better with his own words. She knows it but never tells him she does because she knows he means them as if they were his own.
A lot of people nowadays will say things like ‘I’m dead inside’ or ‘If I had feelings, that would hurt’ as an attempt to sound cool & insensitive to hide their vulnerability but the truth is we enjoy feeling. Every now & then we like to listen to, read or watch something that moves & elicits an emotional response in us just to make sure we’re still alive inside, but we like to do it in our own time. At a time we feel is an appropriate time to feel.
I feel empty & nothing I’m doing on my own is helping. I fear I may share how I feel & be told what it is they think I should fill this emptiness with. But maybe it isn’t emptiness what I’m feeling but heaviness instead. How would I know? I never experienced it before. What if it isn’t something that needs to be filled but something that needs to be spilled?