I wanted to fall in love with a writer. A man who with the use of words alone, could make me fall in love with him & everything he is & isn’t. A man who can reintroduce life to me. A man who can picture my flaws in a way that would make me & anyone who gets the chance to read his words, fall in love with them. But instead, I fell in love with a man who knows not the impact of fabricated & exaggerated expressions on my soul or any other word loving soul. A simple man who uses simple words to express his love to me.
It’s the way he looks at me. The way the simple words he utters radiate sincerity. The way he knew, long before I did, that we belong to one another. And the way he became what I needed him to be; A best-friend when a friend was all I needed and a lover when I realized it was what I wanted.
How this man came to be in my life is still a mystery to me. It was like he tripped over & fell into it (and boy am I glad he did). This man made me love love & root for it. He might not be a man of words but a man of actions he is.
One day in physiology class, while the doctor was talking about membrane potential & equilibrium, he further stated that the human body has an inclination to equilibrium. “Everything seeks equilibrium” he said. I think it’s because I was thinking about something close to that the day before that I actually took a few moments (gazing into space) flipping his words in my head. We do seek equilibrium. We get education to get a job that provides money & purpose so that one day we have enough of both to retire. Whatever your job is, eventually that’s what it comes down to. This also applies to marriage, having kids, buying a house in that beautiful city you once visited & loved & so forth. Equilibrium is good as a goal to look forward to but once reached, everything stops. When a cell membrane is at equilibrium, nothing much happens. No forces to drive anything anywhere. It’s in its comfort zone so to speak. Hence, we can say that disequilibrium is our driving force, just like in cells. We want things, we work to get them. We get them, we look for new things to want. It’s when we no longer want (when we’ve reached our equilibrium) that we freeze. That’s why people who feel content with what they have, usually end up with just that, the little they have. So if such a desire as wanting to own what we don’t, didn’t exist, if we were 100% happy with what we have & who we are early on in life, as a corollary, there would be no progress or change. We’d live & die the same.